state of mind and other stuff

29/08/25 - 3:46pm

i cant fucking focus on my history hw idk why i told my teacher id finished most of it already bro i cant write analyses for shit. i rewatched end of eva trying to finish this ive had Enough ill kill myself fr.

hi this is me like a week later i eventually finished my work in time and it was fire actually Sorry i forgot i was writing this LMAOOOO. not sure if i should change the date on this now. the rest of this is from sept 2nd chat.

i feel like ive done nothing productive for the past 16 years of my life and ive fallen so far behind everyone else that im gonna be stuck like this for the rest of my life. i guess that kinda led to this belief/delusion ive had that i'll die before im 22. like not realyl in a suicidal way just that i dont see myself getting older. and also because i think that i'll get into some dumb shit and get killed or i kill myself.

aside from that i've been trying to listen to more tyler the creator lately cuz i just discovered that goblin is exactly the kind of music i like if you ignore The Other Stuff going on around it. i might binge his discography or something soon but i dont want to spam my music log. So. wolf is also a fav i think.

ugh ok what else. i speedran run 3 again on poki.com for fun. the dentist said my teeth were in good shape apparently. might start ed recovery if my brain lets me. i got some new smiskis YAY!

id rather stab myself with a needle than be writing this to be honest

whats up

18/08/25 - 10:30am

hi okay i kinda forgot about this page. Um. i lowkey still fucking hate this layout but im too burnt out to change it again YAY! writing this in class bc god i Cannot stand circular functions. i have a physics test after but im Not cooked Okay. vectors are easy shit trust Me.

i need to piss

not much happening in my life. i dont find happiness in much The anhedonia is gonna get me. No. there is nothing wrong with me because i am not diagnosed with anything and i never will. i've been realising caffeine lowkey makes me disassociate? wtf is up w that. Is this incoherent?

i watched magical girl site recently I didn't want to put it on my media log though because jesus Fucking christ that was so bad. i dislike the term 'torture porn' (because where exactly is the line drawn between depiction and exploitation and how objective is your view of it?) but half the bad shit that happens in the first 15 or so minutes was so pointless and """edgy""" i almost dropped it. Man i wished I did. this was just What if the creators of pmmm were Fucking cowards about dark themes? 4/10 if I'm being generous.

i dont know if this is Hypocritical since I'm also a big fan of eroguro ? something in the air probably. im shoujo tsubakis 2nd biggest defender.